Sacrifice
by vietnAMAZING
Summary: Shitty first time story. Loves it.
1. 1

AN: Ehh, my first Buffy fic...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"I swear--"  
  
"Don't swear, McKenzie."  
  
"Okay, I... Well, it's never going to stop being hot."  
  
"Sure it is!"  
  
McKenzie, Spike and Buffy's first and only child sat restlessly at the window. She toyed with her golden locks, and rubbed her hazel eyes. She was the picture of her mother.  
  
"Mom?"  
  
"Yes, sweety?"  
  
"Are you patrolling tonight?"  
  
"Uhh, I'm not sure, maybe Daddy will go tonight.. Why?"  
  
"Daddy said we'd go shopping, but somehow, I just doubt he'll walk out the front door." The fifteen year old girl stood, yawning and stretching. She paused a moment at the door to the kitchen. She remembered the first time she'd really gotten in trouble. Spike had been asleep in the bedroom, and her, as mischeivious as a three year old could be, ran in and drew the curtains. "Daddy," she'd called. "Sun's out, let's play!"  
  
He'd yelled, jumped up and closed the curtains. "Kenzie," he'd said angrily, "Daddy can't play   
when the sun's out."  
  
She'd plagued him with "why's" a lot afterwards, and when she was ten, she'd learned the truth.  
Buffy had sat her down one day after school and told her.  
  
"Honey, me and Daddy wanna tell you something."  
  
She'd accepted it, but her first reaction was "You married a vampire?!"  
  
"Kenzie?" Buffy called from the couch, "Are you okay?"  
  
"Sure, Mom, just thinking," she called back. "Are you going to wake Dad up? It's about five."  
  
"Sure, Kenzie, you can wake him up."  
  
  
McKenzie wandered upstairs, and paused at her parents doorframe, smiling at her father. Spike was sprawled over the bed, mouth gaping and the drool running. "Daddy! Get up, get up, get up!"  
  
"Hum? Whats 'at, Kenzie? Up? Sun?"  
  
"It's almost six, Daddy, please get up."  
  
"Sure." His eyes fluttered open momentarily, glared at the girl, and smiled. "Kenzie, are you   
wearing your mothers dress?"  
  
She smiled and nodded. "It fits!" she smiled and added "even my boobs." McKenzie had   
extremely larger boobs than her mother, and Spike always proudly claimed, "she looks like my mother,"  
but the scoobies always thought she was the picture of her mother. She was. Same nose, smile,   
cheekbones, hair. And, although Buffy always hesitated to add, her strength. Her agility.  
  
"Still on for shopping?" Spike asked his daughter, who'd spaced again, not for the first   
time tonight.  
  
"Of course!" She exclaimed, and smiled that smile. That smile that made his unbeating heart   
skip a beat. 


	2. 2

Spike and McKenzie shopped for hours, and weren't home when Buffy returned from patrolling. Buffy sighed, and sat down on the couch. She sighed again, and rolled her eyes. It was just like Spike to keep McKenzie out for hours at a time. She'd be out there with all those monsters.   
Well, she thought she is with Spike. She rose from the couch, and stepped into the bedroom. She glanced in the mirror, and frowned at her reflection. I'm forty, she thought. Such an ugly number. She brushed the thought off, glancing back toward the bathroom.   
"I'll take a shower," she announced loudly, to no one in particular. She smiled again at the thought of finally being alone in the house. She quickly erased the thought, thinking again, I'm alone in the house, I'm supposed to be happy if my husband is home."I'm taking a shower," she announced once more, stepping into the tiled room. She strode into the hall from the bathroom and started unbuttoning her shirt.   
Ha ha, she laughed to herself. I'm going to undress in the hallway and no one's ever going to know. She smiled again, and peeled off the shirt. She glanced over her shoulder to see if anyone was looking, and unhooked her bra. She laughed out loud as she slid out of her jeans, and pulled her bra off. "I'm undressing in the hallway," she called loudly, toward the door. She was greeted by silence. She smiled again as she walked bravely downstairs, nude.  
She laughed again as she stepped into the kitchen. This is absurd, she thought. I should go back upstairs. She started back toward the stairs, when an image popped into her head. She laughed harder at this, shaking her head, and decided on a whim she'd do it. She ran back into the kitchen and stole the flowers from the vase on the table. She ran back upstairs, laughing all the time. She sprinkled the colorful flower petals over the comforter, and climbed nude, into the bed. She smiled, and closed her eyes.   
The only thing she could think was just wait, just wait until Spike gets home. She awoke hours later to Spike, yelling "Bloody hell, woman, can't you keep your clothes out of the hallway?" She startled herself awake and quickly posed in bed. Spike walked into the room, and jumped at the sight of his wife. "Buffy. We've come a long way and I've never seen you do this."  
"You've never seen a lot of things, isn't this a good time to start?"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Spike and Buffy woke early the next morning. Spike mumbled something about being great last night, and rolled over, just to begin snoring again. Buffy smiled again and rolled over next to him, hugging him. "Spike," she whispered, "Can I whisper sweet nothings in your ear?"  
"You can whisper anything in my ear in twelve hours," he grumbled, and rolled over again, in a faint attempt to get away from Buffy.   
"C'mon," she whined, crawling towards him, and nestling her head on his chest. "Please?"Spike rolled over again, moaning about never getting his space in bed, and landed with a "phoomph" on the floor.  
Buffy, having overheard his griping, smiled and said "You can have all the space you want down there." She grinned and stole the blankets from his side of the bed and made herself comfortable on her side, looking down to the floor, and smiling at Spike. The door creaked open and McKenzie looked in at her mother, smiling down at the floor.   
"Mother?"  
"Hmm?"  
"Where's Daddy?"  
"I dunno," she said with a laugh, and turned to face her daughter. The smirk on Kenzies face quickly turned to a frown, when she saw her mothers bare shoulders.   
"You had sex," she said accusingly, and left, shutting the door behind her.   
"Of course we had sex!" She called back to her daughter, who had ascended into the kitchen, pouring herself a bowl of Lucky Charms, and picking out the cereal. McKenzie watched as her mother stepped into the kitchen in her bath robe.   
"Breakfast," she said to her daughter, "is not a bowl of marshmallows. I don't see why your father buys it."  
"My father," Kenzie answered mockingly, "is a twit of a man who had sex with you last night."  
"Your father," Buffy answered with a light hearted laugh, "is quite a twit of a man, who did have sex with me last night. And you," she smiled again, "are a twit of a girl, who came from sex fifteen years ago." Her mother smiled, satisfied, and hastened to add, "HA!"  
Spike, awakened from his fall off the bed called, "I'm not a tit, don't talk about me!"  
"Sure, honey," Buffy called with a smile, "Sure." The woman left the kitchen, pausing only a moment to look at the calendar. She slightly noticed the marked off days, and didn't acknowledge the marked off date BP, until she sat on the couch, to sip at some coffee. She realized with a start, and ran back to the calendar.  
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven,eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen....With a growl, she ran back upstairs, and glared accusingly at Spike. "You know what you did?" She asked the sleeping man. "Do you know what you did?" He laughed, and climbed onto the bed.   
"To you?" He asked with a grin.  
"Yes, to me."  
"Last night?"  
"No."  
"Uh.."  
"Imbecile!" The woman angrily stormed to the bathroom and slammed the door. Moments later she emerged. "Yep, Spike, you sure did it this time. Stupid TIT of a man."  
"What did I do??" He called after the woman.  
"I'm pregnant, that's what you did!" She yelled, storming downstairs. McKenzie sat at the table, with the spoon halfway to her mouth, frozen in motion. 


	3. 3

Several mornings had passed since Buffy had announced her pregnancy. Morning sickness was beginning to set in, and the scoobies hung around all day. Buffy slowly opened her eyes, not wanting to get up, and anxious, waiting for the drop in her stomach. Nothing happened. Spike snuggled closer to her, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "Mmm, Buffy," he said sleepily, burrowing his face into her hair, "you smell like flowers."  
  
She flung herself out of his grip and ran to the bathroom. Hence the morning begins.  
  
It officially started when McKenzie got up and demanded her father get up, and make her breakfast.   
He was forced to comply. Buffy sat at the table, smiling at her daughter. "McKenzie?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Let's go shopping today."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Let's look at baby stuff."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Because."  
  
"That's not why!"  
  
"Then what is? McKenzie, I am three weeks pregnant. Look at me! I'm fat!"  
  
To McKenzie, her mother was imagining it all. The fatness, the morning sickness, she wasn't really pregnant, it was menopausal. Or maybe, she was just plain old getting fat. Poor Dad, she thought to herself. The old man has to listen the the old lady gripe. "Mom, I can't. I told Aunt Dawn I'd watch Josh. And she said she'd be out for like three hours, and so will Uncle Conner."  
  
"I can't believe she got pregnant. Her and Conner have sex like confused monkeys."  
  
"Mom. Image."  
  
"Sorry."   
  
"Eggs up!" Spike exclaimed, hoping to make the conversation go away.  
  
Oh, and Mom?" McKenzie said to her mother, looking up at her.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Please get your clothes out of the hallway. Brad's coming over later."  
  
"Oh, and McKenzie?" Buffy said, out of the blue.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Please pick up your room before you leave, Aunt Willow and Uncle Xander are coming over from Florida."  
  
"Really?" McKenzie asked excitedly. "You mean they're really coming?" McKenzie hadn't seen the two since she was five, and she absolutely loved Willow. Kenzie had been reading up on majicks, and much to Buffy's dismay, she'd started them, and she was pretty good.  
  
Hours after breakfast, Buffy was reluctantly dressing nicely to go stand around at the mall all day, ringing people up.  
  
"I'm going," McKenzie called from the living room. "Bye, Mom, see ya later!"  
  
"Bye McKenzie, be careful on your way over!" McKenzie had recieved her learners permit, and Buffy had recently been allowing her to drive without and adult. She was going to be sixteen the next week, and Buffy hadn't seen the harm.  
  
Ten minutes, as Buffy was walking out the front door, swinging the keys in her hand, the phone rang. Huffing, she set her purse down, and walked over to the phone. "Hello? Summers residence."  
"Mrs. Summers? I'm afraid your daughters had an accident. She was DOA at Sunnydale General."  
  
Buffy swallowed hard, and walked back upstairs. She sat next to Spike on the bed, and rested her hand on his shoulder. Tears welled in her eyes, and she gently shook Spike.  
  
The tears come like rain.  
The pain like the thunder  
The storm never ends  
What's this spell that I'm under?  
  
How does it come  
To end it this way  
My heart has been broken  
And you will not play  
  
The game that I'm after  
Is living and love  
The sad thing about it  
Is your living above  
  
I know that you're watching  
And that you still care  
But what about me?  
Again, I'm stuck here  
  
I've been there once,  
I've been there twice  
Death is my gift,   
But what is the price? 


	4. 4

Spike didn't understand when she told him. Buffy tried to compensate, telling him it was like   
the goldfish he got her at the fair. Dead upon arrival at home. Spike cried after that. And   
even hours laters, he could hardly tell her, but he did. "But, Buffy, she wasn't a goldfish.   
She was my baby." And then she cried. They were asked to be at the hospital for comfirmation   
of identity. Buffy slowly nodded at her daughters face, so dead, so lifeless. She could tell her   
daughter was smiling in the car. She was smiling, Buffy thought to herself. She was happy.  
  
TIME FLASH MCKENZIE IN THE CAR  
  
McKenzie smiled as her song came on the radio. "Yay!" She leaned forward to turn the radio up,  
and sang along to the words as Avril spit them out. "Take off all your preppy clothes..." She   
switched into the right lane, so she could slow down and change the station as the song ended.   
She looked down, and looked back up quickly. Hey! she thought. My song again! She blared   
the music again, and she smiled as she drove. She looked down, quickly, and looked back up.   
Wow, nice car, she thought. But isn't it in the wrong lane?  
  
BACK   
  
Buffy sighed as she waited at the airport for Willow and Xander. She smiled slightly upon seeing   
Willow walk out. Willow brightly smiled and ran over. "Hey! Where's Kenzie?"  
  
Buffy gave Willow a frown, as she buried her face in her hands, and told the story again.   
She sobbed as she choked "You're just in time for the funeral."  
  
  
  
AN Sorry it was short, but yeah. I guess I should put my disclaimer here. They're all Joss'   
::Sob:: Too bad. And I wish I owned Sarah, but shes Freddies.... I love all my reviews!!!   
And believe me people, this isn't the end!!! 


	5. 5

AN: Sorry it's taken soo long to update. I've been busy.... Well I can't post a   
funeral scene(personal thing) so in place of it I leave another poem, with the same   
theme. I wrote both poems and I am immensely proud of them. I suppose here I should   
put another disclaimer. I don't own them :( They are owned by mastermind Joss Whedon   
and Mutant Enemy. Whelps... Happy reading.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Willow sat in the back of the jeep, crying, dumbfounded at the news, and wasn't   
surprised to find the rest of the scoobies at Buffy's house in the same state.   
Xander cried for a few minutes, and decided he had to be strong. Strong for   
Buffy, and although he was ashamed to say so, he felt he had to be strong for   
Spike. He'd never seen Buffy in such a state. Even when her mother died.   
  
Spike looked ashamed. "I'm a failure," he cried at himself. "I can't even   
keep a kid for sixteen years." Buffy's happy news of pregnancy had been   
forgotten. In the morning, everyone dressed in black, they dutifully   
arrived at the funeral home. Buffy stood with her head down at McKenzies casket,   
looking upon her beautiful face.   
  
I won't remember you like this, McKenzie. She told her. This isn't you, and you know it. She cried,   
and left an envelope in McKenzies lap. Eyes undressed it, trying to read it.  
  
To face each new day  
And each bright new morning  
Takes strength from the heart  
So heed but this warning  
  
You do not know   
What beholds you today  
The one that you love  
Just might go away  
  
The tears that I cry  
Are not just for sorrow  
Those tears that I cry,   
Are too, for tomorrow  
  
What will I do?  
Without the one that I cherish  
I'll give each day the fullest  
Won't let my pride perish  
  
Because I've been there once  
I've been there twice  
Death is my gift  
But what is the price?  
  
As Spike approached the casket, his mind though  
he forbade it. This one is nicer than mine. He too, laid a note in the casket.  
  
Kenzie-  
Though my poetry was always bloody awful.. I know you always appreciated   
the little bitty songs I made you when you were just a little girl.  
  
I love you like moonlight  
Not poison to me  
But now you're like sunshine  
Which I'll never see  
  
I miss you like breathing  
Which I never do  
I hate it like crazy  
Your Mum does too  
  
You'll never forget me  
And I'll never you  
And I'll always love you  
Taken hint or clue  
  
your Daddy William  
ps I sign my name William because I know you knew me as him.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Next morning Spike woke first. He rolled over and hugged Buffy close to him. Buffy's slightly   
swollen stomach churned, and he let go of her as she rocketed towards the bathroom. Willow   
had helped most mornings, pulling her hair back, and handing her cool rags.   
  
"I dreamt of McKenzie," she said to Willow as she handed her a rag.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What'd you dream?"  
  
"She was late for school. I guess I knew it was a dream. I went into the room, and laid in   
the bed with her. I cried to her that I missed her and that I wanted her to come back. I told  
her I loved her. And she said.. She said." Buffy paused as she started to cry. "Oh, Mama,   
I wanna come home.'Oh God, Willow, what are they doing to her? They're hurting her, Willow.   
Get her back. I want her back"  
  
Willow rubbed Buffys back comforting her. "I'm sorry Buffy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."   
There's no way she could keep down the tears. 


	6. 6

*If it makes you happy*  
  
It had been two months since McKenzie... Died. The pain slowly dulled, but McKenzie's room remained untouched. Her car, taken from the wreckage, untouched, other than thesmashed in drivers side was repaired by the mechanics, and politely given back to Buffy. "A present," the man had said. The car was given to Willow, and she would drive it back home.   
  
The morning slowly came on, and Buffy sat slowly in bed. Her morning sickness had passed, well, most of it anyways. Spike stirred in bed and rolled over, closer to Buffy. His head brushed against Buffy's stomach, which was actually quite large, despite the fact that she was only three months along. "Mmm, Buffy. You smell like a banana. I like bananas." She playfully smacked him, and he looked up with a smile. The smile quickly dissipated.  
  
"Why don't you smile, Spike?"  
  
"S'bad to smile. Mum always told me--"  
  
"Well, listen to what Buffy is telling you, Spike. It's okay to smile. Please smile, Baby. Please."  
  
Spike forced a tiny smile, and placed a hand on her stomach. "It's gonna be another little girl.. She'll look exactly like you."  
  
"No, it'll be a boy, and it'll look exactly like you."  
  
The two got out of bed, and Spike walked over to the window. He slowly drew the curtains as Buffy walked into the bathroom, and stood, staring out the window. A couple minutes later, Buffy re enters the room. "Spike! What are you doing?!"  
  
"I've been standing here for hours." He answered slowly.  
  
"No, Spike, you haven't. But you've been standing here." Buffy stood next to Spike, and slid her hand into his.  
  
"I love, you." The comment was left unanswered, but the couple knew the silent answer, and they stood for hours at the open window. 


	7. 7

The two separated and Buffy went downstairs. She stood at the window, and opened the   
curtains, staring out at the view. "Spike!" She called out to him. "Spike!" Spike rushed   
downstairs, and pulled Buffy away from the window, holding her close.  
  
"Buffy, Luv, shh...."  
  
"McKenzie.." she whispered to the man.  
  
"No, Luv, McKenzie's.. McKenzie's with Joyce."  
  
"Joyce?"  
  
"Yes, Luv."  
  
"I miss her."  
  
"I know." He paused, looking at the window, staring at his wifes beautiful reflection.   
"Do you need anything, sweetie?"  
  
Buffy looked up at the window, and fingered her hubands sharp features with her mind.   
"Spike?"  
  
"Yes, Luv."  
  
"I feel your heart beating."  
  
"Yes, Luv."  
  
"When did it happen?"  
  
"When you told me you were pregnant."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I dunno, Luv." He looked at his reflection, and pulled Buffy into the living room.   
He laid down on the couch, and pulled Buffy close. As Buffy's eyes slowly closed, Spike   
began to hum softly, saying the words she knew, and humming those she didn't.  
  
McKenzie's in the bedroom with her dad, teaching him the words to the God-awful song.   
How sweet.  
  
Chill out, whatcha yellin' for? Lay back, it's all been done before. And if you   
could only let it be you will see...  
  
What do they want for breakfast? Eggs, bacon... McKenzie! McKenzie's home, and   
she brought Dawnie and Mama home.  
  
"Mom?" No answer! "Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom?"  
  
"Buffy, wake up."  
  
The music stopped. McKenzie and Mommy is gone! Bring her back! Where   
did she go? Why? Why won't anyone stay? Don't they love me?"  
  
"Buffy, wake up, Luv."  
  
"Mama's home, Spikey. Tell her we're married."  
  
"Shh, Buffy, Mama's not.. Mama's not... Home."  
  
He'd missed Joyce, no doubt. She was kind when no one else would be.  
  
"Spikey, let's ask Willow and Xander to move in, don't let them go back to Florida."  
  
"We'll ask, Darling." He placed a gentle hand over her large belly and kissed the top   
of her head. Buffy drifted back into her dream, home, with McKenzie, and Dawnie, and Joyce,   
her home. Home.  
  
  
  
  
PART TWO  
  
  
  
  
Buffy had long since asked Willow and Xander to move in, and come out of her shocked   
state. Spike had never figured out why she had become so suddenly distraught, but a hot   
shower had helped. Afterwards, she was so amazed at Spike's pulse, she'd been following   
him around like a puppy, holding his wrist, and watching her watch to catch his pulse.  
  
"62!" She announced happily that morning . "You're very healthy."  
  
"Did Red ever tell you if she was staying?"  
  
"Yes." Buffy replied easily as she checked her watch. "61. She's staying. That's   
good. She's going to stay in McKenzie's old room. That's okay, right?"  
  
"Of course, Luv." He walked into the living room and turned on the television.   
"Passions." He said, as if it were and explanation. "Timmy is so funny." He chuckled,   
and sat down.  
  
"72." Buffy said, checking her watch again. "It went up." It was a comment in dismay.   
"Why?" She looked up at him.   
  
"Passions makes me happy."  
  
"Good."  
  
"Kenzie liked General Hospital."  
  
"She did? I never had time for soaps. Impending apocalypses. A lot of them."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Then I died."  
  
"You don't care 63!"  
  
"Yes, I do care, Buffy, I care."You and McKenzie are the only things that made me happy.   
Now she's gone, and you're... acting really strange. You know Buffy, I lost my.   
My goldfish... I miss her, Buffy." He dropped his head into his hands and began to cry.  
  
"I miss her too." Buffy held Spikes head against her chest, and let him sob. One minute  
passed, and she whispered "I love you, 65."  
  
"I love you, too Buffy." 


	8. 8

McKenzies room had been transformed to Willow's liking and Buffy looked forlornly into at the doorway. "Willow?"  
  
"Yeah, sweetie?"  
  
"Are you gonna call Stasy in Florida and ask to send your stuff? The rest of it?"  
  
Willow smiled lightly and laughed. "This is the rest of it."  
  
Buffy glanced around the room quickly. The amount of stuff was small. Willow's most prized possession hung on the wall above her desk.  
  
Diploma of Psychiatry  
  
Presented to  
  
Willow Rosenberg Harris  
  
Class of 2010  
  
She and Xander had been together for years now, and during the first three years, Willow had been barren. But during their fourth year anniversary, Willow announced she was pregnant. Stasy, their friend, would bring up a couple more of their things, and Willows daughter, Jesse Willow. "Jesse should be here by noon today. That's okay, right?"  
  
"Of course. She'll stay in Dawns old room. It'll be perfect." Buffy had missed having little girls.. Big girls.. Children in the house. The girls sat silently next to each other and smiled, thinking. Their thoughts were suddenly disturbed.  
  
"Jess here says her Mommy is s'posed to be here."  
  
"She's right there!" The five year old girl pointed excitedly at Willow and Willow stood and put a hand on her chest.  
  
"Me? No, not me. I'm not a Mommy!"  
  
The small childs eyes filled with tears. "Yes, you are. I remember you. Please be my mommy."  
  
"Oh, Jesse, silly girl, Mommy's jokin." Jesse quickly ran to her mother throwing herself into warm arms.  
  
Jesse whispered loudly into her mothers ears. "I was at Stasy's house. She made me eat vegetables. And," the small voice quieted, "she gave me a spankin'"  
  
Willow and Xander were decidedly against any kind of hitting or spanking punishment. "Oh, sweety, why?" Jesse's eyes dropped to the ground as she guiltily confessed.  
  
"I'm a real bad girl who does bad things."  
  
"What, honey? What did you do?" Willow watched Stasy as she smiled nervously and went downstairs.  
  
"He touched me and I bit him."  
  
"Did he make you uncomfortable?"  
  
Jesse nodded.  
  
"If he made you uncomfortable then you should have told him, not bit him, but Mommy isn't mad at you, okay?"  
  
Jesse nodded, and looked at Buffy. "Wow! What's wrong with your tummy?"  
  
Buffy smiled. "I'm having a baby."  
  
"I like babies. I hope it comes out soon." Jesse paused. "No, I know it will come out soon." 


	9. 9

Jesse had made herself very comfortable in Dawns room. "Mommy," Jesse called from her room one morning.  
  
"Yes, Jesse?"  
  
"Auntie Buffy is layin' in the hallway and she doesn't look so good." The child squatted and poked Buffy's shoulder. "Auntie Buffy, are you okay?"  
  
Buffy slowly shook her head. "Did you call your mommy?" Jesse nodded and ran to Willows room.  
  
"Mommy! For real! Auntie Buffy is laying in the hallway in a big puddle of blood!" The excited child was very loud and Buffy laughed, and called to Willow from the hallway.  
  
"No, Willow, my water broke. I can't get up." Willow appeared in the hallway and helped Buffy get up.  
  
"Where's Spike?"  
  
"I dunno."  
  
"Where did he say he was going?"  
  
Buffy considered this. "Grocery store. He has my cell phone." Spike made it to the hospital just it time to meet Buffy's doctor.  
  
"Dr. Silmon," the doctor started. "I'm Buffy's doctor. You must be her husband, William."  
  
"Yeah. If that's whatcha wanna call me."  
  
"You're not her husband?"  
  
"I am. Bloody hell, you can't speak english?"  
  
"I can!" The doctor hmmphed, and walked away. Spike walked into the waiting room and sat next to Willow.  
  
"You're not gonna watch?"  
  
Spike looked down at his feet. "I get sick."  
  
Willow stifled a laugh and nodded. "Oh. Me too." Willow looked over at Jesse. She was playing with a small toy truck, and "vrooming" around the small room. She raised her eyebrows as Spike walked over to Jesse.  
  
"Y'know, kid, when I was a small boy, I had a little truck kinda like that."  
  
The girl looked at Spike incredulously. "Unclie Spike, you're dumb."  
  
"Jesse! You don't call people dumb!"  
  
"Well, Mommy, he is! Look at him! He's not a small boy! I heard Auntie Buffy say he's one million years older!"  
  
"Sweety, everyone is a child at one point. Mommy used to be a little girl and play with Daddy when he was a little boy."  
  
"You played doctor like you did in the bathroom this morning?"  
  
The womans eyes grew large. "Oh. Oh, no, sweety, Daddy was checking my heartbeat."  
  
"In your pants?" The childs face fell at the thought she'd always tried to find her heartbeat on her chest.  
  
"Nevermind, Sweety." Spike played with the small child until the doctor emerged from the small room in the hall.  
  
"Mr. Summers?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Your.. Buffy would like to see you." Spike rose quickly and stepped briskly into the room where Buffy lay, holding a small figure in her arms.  
  
"It's a--"  
  
"Girl."  
  
"Boy." Buffy gently laid the baby in Spikes arms, and looked proudly up at her husband. She was proud. She was proud to see Spike happy. Finally.  
  
I'll always remember It was late afternoon It lasted forever And ended too soon You were all by yourself Staring up at a dark gray sky I was changed In places no one would find All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside) It was then that I realized That forever was in your eyes The moment I saw you cry The moment that I saw you cry It was late in september And I've seen you before (and you were) You were always the cold one But I was never that sure You were all by yourself Staring at a dark gray sky I was changed In places no one would find All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside) It was then that I realized That forever was in your eyes The moment I saw you cry I wanted to hold you I wanted to make it go away I wanted to know you I wanted to make your everything, all right.... I'll always remember... It was late afternoon... In places no one would find... In places no one would find All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside) It was then that I realized That forever was in your eyes The moment I saw you cry  
  
And I've seen you before (and you were) You were always the cold one But i was never that sure You were all by yourself Staring at a dark gray sky I was changed  
  
In places no one would find All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside) It was then that I realized That forever was in your eyes The moment I saw you cry  
  
I wanted to hold you i wanted to make it go away I wanted to know you I wanted to make your everything, all right....  
  
I'll always remember... It was late afternoon... In places no one would find...  
  
In places no one would find All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside) It was then that I realized That forever was in your eyes The moment I saw you cry 


	10. 10

"Mommy?"  
  
"Yes, Jesse?"  
  
"There's something in my bedroom."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"A monster."  
  
The frightened child looked out the window. The tree branch was quite intimidating, but she was sure her Mommy and Daddy could handle it.  
  
"Sweety," Willow began the speech her mother always gave her as a child. "There's no such thing as monsters." Buffy, changing   
Williams diaper, overheard this.  
  
"Hey, uh, Will?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Just, wondering, y'know, what have we been fighting for the past, what, like 20 years?"  
  
"Ohh!" Willow put down her textbook, and ran upstairs. "Where's the monster, sweety?"  
  
"There! In the tree!"  
  
"Honey!" Willow squatted next to Jesse. "That IS the tree."   
  
"Okay, Mommy." Jesse slowly climbed into her bed. "Goodnight." Willow gently kissed her forehead.  
  
The still unbeating heart yet beats  
And now it is alive  
For love which dies can come alive  
And deserving has arrived  
  
Only so many words   
Can make up for what's been done  
Memory scars  
And not just one  
  
The heart that beats  
Is one that's true  
The one that loves  
Is the one that's new  
  
It's not what I know  
It's not what I think  
It is what I love  
My heart to heart link  
  
Because I've been there once  
I've been there twice  
Death is my gift  
But what is the price?  
  
(That was Spike's suddenly alive explanation)  
  
"Okay, William, baby, we're gonna see Daddy now!" Buffy picked the child up, and rethought taking the baby to Spike. Instead, she took it to  
Willow. "Please, and thank you!"  
  
By the time Buffy crossed the thresh hold between the hall and her bedroom, Spike was in the shower. She slowly let the bathroom open, and   
stepped in. Making sure he was oblivious, she slowly disrobed.   
  
Laughing under her breath, and slid into the shower, and took hold of his shoulders. The man didn't falter. He took the hands, and held them.  
He turned, gently kissing her knuckles. Dropping her hands, he gently kissed her neck, chest.... 


	11. 11

When did she change? She felt the same. Maybe it was was McKenzie died, but that was five years ago.  
  
"Mummy?"  
  
"Yeah, baby?"  
  
"Is Daddy gonna take me to da store?"  
  
"I don't know, sweety."  
  
"Mummy?" The little boy looked up at his mother. He looked just like Spike. He had soft brown hair, his   
mother's green eyes, his father's face, and his father's sweet innocence.  
  
"Yes, Will?"  
  
"I love you." Buffy sat on the ground next to her five year old boy, and he wrapped his arms loosely   
around her neck. "F'rever, and ever and ever and ever and ever."  
  
Buffy smiled at him. "Eskimo kiss," she said quietly before the two rubbed noses.  
  
"William!" Spike's large voice boomed through the house.  
  
"Daddy!" The small child sqeauled at the sight of his father. His arms dropped from around his mother, and   
he ran from his mother to jump into his fathers arms. "Daddy! Mommy said you'd take me to a store. I want a puppy."  
  
"William, boy, you know Mummy and me said no puppy dogs."  
  
"But, please." William put on the sweet English accent he'd gotten after spending a year learning how to   
talk in England. "Mummy said you'd buy me a puppy."  
  
"You're such a Mum's boy."  
  
"I'm not a Mum's boy!" Spike laughed at his son.   
  
"Okay, we'll get a puppy dog. S'at okay, Luv?" Spike looked at Buffy, who shrugged helplessly.  
  
Spike and William returned about three hours later, William holding in his arms a tiny puppy. The puppy   
wriggled in his arms, it was brown, all brown with brown eyes, a brown nose, and brown paws. "Mummy, I wanted   
to name it Poopoo, but Daddy wouldn't let me."  
  
"Good." Buffy smiled at Spike. "What'd you guys name him?"  
  
"It's a girl, duh." William looked up at his mother. "Her name," he paused, "Is Kenzie."  
  
Buffy smiled down at her son. "That's sweet, Will boy."  
  
He rolled his eyes. "Duh. I'm sweet." 


	12. 12

"He'll take it out next time, I promise, Luv."  
  
"He better. The next time I get dog crap on my nice shoes standing outside for a half hour with that dog, someone is dying."  
  
"Mum?"  
  
"Yes, William?"  
  
"We goin' to the store?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Now?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Chocolate donuts!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Snickers!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Oreos!"  
  
"NO! Spike, how many times do I have to tell you! No junk food!"  
  
"Yeah, Dad, no junk food."  
  
"Wanker."  
  
"I'm not!"  
  
"Not, you, your Mum."  
  
"I'm not."  
  
"Not you, your son."  
  
"I'm not!"  
  
"Spike, you and your son go look at the cookies."  
  
"Kay!"  
  
"Bye Mum."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Kay, Luv, we tasted all the cookies."  
  
"You didn't!"  
  
"Kidding."  
  
"Good, now, William--" she turned to face her son, and no one was there. "William?"  
  
"William?" The search begins.  
  
"He's not in the soda aisle."  
  
"Or the cookie aisle."   
  
"He's not in the vegetable aisle."  
  
"He like chips."  
  
There he sat, in the middle of the aisle. Several open bags of chips lay around him, and looked up at his mother, his   
hand digging into the sour cream and onion. "Hi, Mum. Want a chip?"  
  
"William!"  
  
"Can we buy the chips?"  
  
"And the cookies?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
"YES!"  
  
"Spike, don't scream while we're in public, please." 


	13. 13

"Buffy?" A whisper. Poor baby. Spike had been sick for the past three days, and today, the fourth, he'd reached the height of his sickness. His face had become flushed, he could only lie in bed, and William, who'd also gotten sick, could only lay in bed beside him. Buffy, she'd been sick, but gotten over it almost immediately. But, Spike was new to the world, in a way, in a way that he was alive again.  
  
"Yeah, baby?" Buffy leaned against the doorframe, looking in on her boys.  
  
"Come lay with me... I'm feeling lonely." Buffy smiled at her husband, and obliged, laying next to him, smiling, and brushing his unkempt hair out of his face. He'd let it grow back in as his soft, natural brown, and when William had seen it, he'd giggled for at least a week.  
  
"Mama?" Buffy leaned over Spike, resting her head on his shoulder.  
  
"Yeah, Willboy?"  
  
"My throat hurts. Real, real, bad."  
  
"Real, real, real bad?"  
  
"Mhm." The little boy let his head roll back on the down pillow, and he stuck his tongue out for good measure.  
  
Buffy smiled, and nudged Spike. Spike tilted his head to look at him, and laughed. Bufy stood from the bed, and picked him up. "Takin' him to the living room, where I fill him up with Tylenol."  
  
William dropped his act and struggled to be released from his mother arms. "No, no, Mom, I'm not sick! F'real." Buffy didn't relent, and carried him into the living, and layed him on the couch, where he fell back asleep, coughing gently.  
  
"Dr. Bronson? Yes, This is Buffy Summers, William's mom? I was wondering if you were free sometime today? Three? That's great."  
  
Dr. Bronson was a big man, old, and wrinkly, but he was the only pediatrician in Sunnydale. "Anything for a great lay like you, Ms. Summers."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Anything for a great mom like you, Buffy."  
  
  
  
"Yes, Doctor, but you must understand, he's been very sick, as his father has, too."  
  
"Father? Your husband?"  
  
"Yes-"  
  
"Dammit!"  
  
"Doctor, I highly doubt there's reason for profanity-"  
  
"Dammit, Mommy, I don't feel good."  
  
"William, that's a very bad word and I don't want you to say it."  
  
William nodded.  
  
"Ms. Summers, I believe I must speak to you in the hall."  
  
Buffy followed the man into the hall. He put a hand on her shoulder, and she shifted away uncomfortably.  
  
He let his arm drift around the shoulder again, and let it gently graze her butt. "Don't touch me."  
  
"Don't worry, after today, I won't." Her eyebrows knit together for a moment before the man shoved her onto the floor, and tore away her shirt.  
  
Buffy jumped back up, and punched the man. He recover quickly, and smiled at her. She'd been wearing a strapless top, and no bra. She grabbed the sweater she'd left on the desk, and pulled it over her bare chest, buttoning it. She clumsily opened the door, and rushed in, grabbing her son, and rushing out.  
  
  
  
"What's wrong Luv?"  
  
"We'll talk later."  
  
"We'll talk now, Buffy. Will's asleep, we're all alone." He sat next to Buffy on the couch. "What happened?" 


	14. 14

"All these bad things are happening to me... And to my friends... When does all of this end? When?"  
  
"You're a slayer right? So you were born to protect the world from people like.. Me."  
  
"No, I was born to slay vampires. You're not a vampire."  
  
Spike used his thumb to wipe a tear off Buffy's cheek. He kissed her forehead, and looked at her. "Buffy, sometimes people think they're born to do great things. They're not, you know. Not all of them. You were. You are. Look at you. How successful you are. It doesn't look like it though, does it? You work in a department store, you didn't finish college. But they don't know. Not them," Spike waved his hand at a gesture to the whole world, "the only people who know," he continued, "are the people who matter the most. Your mum, Will, Xander, Giles, Anya, Tara, and Kenzie. Kenzie, she knew and then some." Spike paused, and stared at his wife. "Right?"  
  
Buffy smiled at her husband and nodded. "Yeah, you're right." At that moment, Kenzie, decided to join them. She growled at Buffy for a moment, (she doesn't like Kenzie, Kenzie doesn't like her) and jumped into Spike's lap. Buffy shook her head. "Get it off my bed." The dog stared up at Buffy, and jumped off Spikes lap.  
  
  
  
"Things fall apart you know? Things that you never imagined could ever happen, have happened to me. I seen that girl so many time before I ever knew what was going on. What is going on? Now, I'm not sure, but what was going on, I can tell you now, I hope it never happens to me again. Whatever happens to Buffy and her happy family, hmmph, I could care less. Oh, my name? My name is Faith. So room 14 is available? Great, I'll be right over to pick up the key."  
  
  
  
"She's in town, and she's already raising hell."  
  
"How do you know she's in town?"  
  
"Will won't come out of the bathroom for the life of her, and Jesse is happier than ever, she doesn't know what the hell's going on, and Xander is trying to figure out where to hide the wine from Christmas."  
  
"Aw, so Will doesn't like the mother in-law, does she?" Buffy shook her head, smiling at Spike. Jesse was on the couch, sprawled in the midst off gift-wrapped boxes, and began peeling the paper away.  
  
"Hey, Aunt Buffy?"  
  
"Yeah, Jess?"  
  
"Why did Grandma buy me wine for Christmas?"  
  
"Got me sweety. Come have some of my famous nog."  
  
"Aunt Buffy the only reason your nog is famous is because Mom drank some and ended up in the hospital for a month."  
  
"Hey- it's a new and improved recipe! I refrigerated the box before and after I opened it." Jesse laughed at her aunt, and happily obliged. 


	15. 15

What if I told you it was all meant to be?  
  
Christmas. X-Mas. Happiness, hugging, and puppies. At least that was what Spike thought. His first Christmas being alive for quite awhile. He'd been so excited. Looking forward to spoiling his family. Until he figured it out.  
  
Would you believe me?  
  
William wanted a bike. Buffy wanted jewelry. Jesse wanted multitudes of clothes. Willow wanted volumes of Psychiatric health. Xander wanted tools. Rupert wanted a copy of Willows volumes of Psychiatry. And Spike desperately needed a job. This was his family. He wanted to make them happy, to please them. To see them smile at him, and accept him. And he wanted Xander to accept him, for who he had become. Not for who he had been.  
  
Would you want me?  
  
Only Buffy knew his biggest secret. That he cried. Only from one little comment. He hadn't realised it hurt so bad. Sticks and stones may break his bones, and words will always hurt him. Deadboy. He wasn't dead. He was alive. Quite alive. More alive than he's ever been. So, Christmas. For Christmas, he'd buy them the best presents, everything they wanted. Anything they ever dreamed of, for Christmas. It was his time to shine, and his time to show Xander.  
  
It's almost that feeling that we've met before  
  
"You... Mean.. Kenzie has to go to..." Williams eyes grew large, and tears pooled at the corners of them. He stuck out his bottom lip, and continued. "The pound?!"  
  
Buffy noded slowly at her son, and picked him up. "Yes, sweety, we just can't afford him-"  
  
"Her!"  
  
"Her, we can't afford her, and we can't afford to have peeing all over the floor anymore."  
  
"Then you can't afford me! I hate you! You don't love me! I wanna live with Daddy!"  
  
"Honey, I love you, you know I love you. It's okay if you hate me, though, because I know you don't mean it. And William?"  
  
He looked at his mother in hope. "Yeah?  
  
"You live with your Daddy."  
  
"I know, but Brittney at school doesn't live with her dad, and she says she wants to live with him, because he's nicerer."  
  
"Nicer, honey."  
  
"Nicer. Like you."  
  
"I thought you hated me."  
  
William smiled, showing off his tiny white, pearly teeth. "It was a joke!" The exasperated child ran off to find his father. Not in his room. Not in the bathroom. Not in Jesse's room. Not in Auntie Will's or Unclie Xander's room. Not in kitchen. "Mommy?!"  
  
"What's the matter honey?"  
  
Buffy rished into the kitchen to find her son crying on the floor. She knelt by him, and picked him up. "What happened?"  
  
"Daddy's not here. I think he went to live with Brittney's daddy."  
  
Buffy smiled at her son. "Daddy still lives here, and will forever. He's at work."  
  
So tell me that you don't think I'm crazy, when I tell you love is here and now  
  
Buffy met Spike at the door when he returned from work. He was revieved by warm arms, a warm smile, and a kiss. He was told William was out with Willow and Jesse, Xander was at the Magic Box, and they were alone. "You didn't undress for me." Spike played with the silky tie that held her robe closed around her waist.  
  
"Who said that?" She took Spike's hand, still holding the rope, and helped him pull it, and let the robe fall open.  
  
"Oh." Spike cocked his head to the side, and smiled. "Ooh."  
  
Buffy smiled playfully, and led him upstairs.  
  
A moment like this, some people wait a lifetime  
  
"So, uh, Faith? How long are you stayin'?"  
  
"I dunno. Long as I need to, I guess. Been in jail for twenty years."  
  
"How old are you, anyways?"  
  
"Old enough, why? You wanna play?" Faith ran a hand over her chest.  
  
"Yeah, I wanna play. Sexy chic like you, yeah, I wanna play all night." Faith walked halfway into her room, leaving the door open a crack. She smiled at the man outside, and gestured for him to come in. She was still standing near the door.  
  
The man had his hand wrapped the around the frame, and put a foot on the dirty blue carpet inside her room, and walked in. She threw him down on the bed, and laid on top of him. She shook her head, and looked at him. His eyes widened, and he screamed. But not before she sunk her canines into his neck, and drank of his blood. "I never said I'd play nice."  
  
For a moment like this, some people search forever  
  
"Buffy? Spike? We're home. Will's comin' up, in case.. You're indisposed." Jesse frowned at her mother.  
  
"Do they have to make it so obvious that they're still... Doing it?" Willow laughed, and started upstairs, but quickly turned, grabbing her daughter face, and leading her away from the stairs.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Apparently, they never made it completely upstairs."  
  
"Eww!"  
  
"Shh, they're asleep."  
  
William laid on the couch, and closed his eyes. "Tired, William?" William nodded without opening his eyes. Jesse laid beside him, and they fell asleep. Willow walked upstairs, and kneeled next to Buffy, who lay naked on the stairs.  
  
"Buffy?" She didn't stir. "Buffy?" No reaction. "Buffy?" Buffy slowly woke, and opened her eyes.  
  
"God I feel like I'm... Oh, God, I'm naked aren't I?" Willow nodded. "And I'm on the stairs?" She nodded again. "And Spike is naked beside me?" Nod.  
  
Buffy stood, and ran towards her room. "Buffy?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"What about Spike?"  
  
"He'll be okay. Tomorrows Christmas?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"He'll be great."  
  
Willow frowned, and started to walk towards her room.  
  
"I'll get him, Will, stop worrying." Willow laughed, and shut the door behind herself.  
  
Xander walked in a couple minutes after everyone fell asleep, and he was decoratively dressed in a red velvet suit, with a pillow stuffed in his shirt. "Merry Christmas, everyone."  
  
Jesse, asleep on the couch, heard him, and murmered back. "And to all a good night."  
  
For that one special kiss  
  
Xander knelt next to Jesse on the couch, and kissed her on the cheek, and went upstairs to lay next to Willow until the dawn.  
  
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this  
  
"Presents!"  
  
"Mine!"  
  
"Nuh uh, William, you have to share!"  
  
"Jesse, you know which ones are yours, they have your names. William, come sit next to mommy."  
  
"Okay!"  
  
"Now, Jess, please give me a couple of Will's presents."  
  
Jesse looked around the corner of the room that harboured the tree, and grabbed up a couple presents. She set them on the floor next to Buffy.  
  
Everything changes but beauty remains  
  
"Faith. Faith. Faith. Faiith. Faaith. What kinda name is that anyways? That girl's got no faith. Except maybe in sexual intercourse. With... Men."  
  
"Hey, uh, Bob?" The man at the counter stops muttering to himself, and looked up. The Faith woman was standing in front of him, and she was smiling at him.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I, uh, heard you talking, and I liked what you were saying." Faith inched forward slowly. "It, you know, turned me on." Bob covered his lap with the sign-in book, and smiled up at Faith.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"So, uh, you wanna play?" Faith had reached the counter, and rubbed it with her hand, and moved her other hand to the button on her jeans. Bob nodded fervently. She pulled her hand out, and unbuttoned the pants, and let them fall to the floor. She let Bob reach out, and pull at the strap of her thong, but she pulled back, and pulled his head close to her chest. She felt his tongue jut out, and she winced. She sucked on his neck, and finally bit into it. Bob made no sound, and she dropped his body, letting it hit the ground, and hopped onto the counter to finish herself off.  
  
Something so tender, I can't explain  
  
William looked at his mother, and then turned to his father, with a shocked look on her face. "No bike?" Buffy shrugged, and handed William another present. She looked worriedly at Spike, who mouthed "outside" to her.  
  
"A journal? Mom, I wanted clothes. So far, I've got a journal, a box of crayons, and a doll."  
  
"Journals are cool. Buffy always kept a diary."  
  
"Really?" Buffy nodded.  
  
"Still do."  
  
"See, I told you I wanted a journal Mom, they're so cool." Willow laughed, and looked at Buffy, shaking her head, and smiling.  
  
"I got your present, Jesse, me and your Aunt Buffy got it at the mall when we went to see Peaches last week."  
  
"From L.A.?" Spike nodded, and handed her a key. "A car?" This was followed by a chorus of laughter.  
  
"In your closet." Jesse smiled at her uncle, and ran upstairs. Buffy, Willow, and Spike waited for her response.  
  
"Take Will outside," Buffy said to Spike, then, "to check the mail."  
  
"Of course." Spike led William outside.  
  
"MOM! You got this for me?!"  
  
Willow laughed. "That's courtesy of Uncle Spike."  
  
"Uncle Spike! Uncle Spike!" Jesse appeared at the bottom of the stairs, still screaming. "Where is he?"  
  
"Outside with Will and his bike." Willow stood, and stretched, grabbing her camera, and walked outside.  
  
Well, I may be dreamin'  
  
Christmas was over, and Spike had been successful. Except, Xander still... Didn't appreciate him. "I'm not asking for the world, Buffy. I'm asking for respect."  
  
But till I awake, can we make this dream last forever, and I'll cherish all the love we share, for a moment like this  
  
"I love you, Spike." Buffy nesteled her head against his chest.  
  
"I love you too, Buffy." They fell asleep, finally happy. 


	16. 16

"What did you do?"  
  
These words were familiar. How many times had he heard them from her? "I didn't mean to, Buffy, I swear."  
  
"You didn't mean to? What happened? Did you like trip and fall? You landed there on accident?"  
  
Tears streamed from her eyes, spilling onto the gown she'd put on for their special anniversary dinner at a restaurant outside of Sunnydale. "Well? What happened?"  
  
Spike put his hands on Buffy's shoulders. "Don't touch me!"  
  
"Buffy-"  
  
"Don't lie to me. Give me that. Just don't lie."  
  
"I'm not going to lie, Buffy."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
Spike sat down on the bed, and gestured for Buffy to sit next to him. Buffy crossed her arms and shook her head.  
  
"I... She... I betrayed you, Buffy, and I don't know why. There is something inside me-"  
  
"Evil? Is that what it is? The evil? How long has this been going on?"  
  
"Long?"  
  
"Long, how long, Spike? Tell me." Her voice had force in it.  
  
"Six years." Buffy covered her face with her hands, and began to sob. She dropped to the ground, and shook, horribly, crying.  
  
"So long? So long, Spike? That means you didn't just betray me, Spike. You betrayed my son."  
  
"I'm sorry, Buffy."  
  
"I don't think sorry cuts it today. I don't think it will tomorrow. I think you should give me your key, and leave."  
  
"I'm sorry, Buffy."  
  
Spike began to cry. "Please, Buffy. Please, don't make me leave. I'm so sorry." Spike sank to his knees in front of Buffy. "Please. Please, please. I'll do anything."  
  
"You mean anyone. Anyone but me, huh? You know what? I don't care. Leave. Please."  
  
"Noo, Buffy-"  
  
"Go, please."  
  
Spike rose, his head hung, ashamedly, and left.  
  
The next day, Buffy found a letter in the mailbox. She opened it, and recognized Spikes handwriting. She hesitatingly read it.  
  
Gone Gone away Gone To another day  
  
Because if I remember That it has been done They'll be gone forever And she's the only one  
  
I didn't mean to do it I didn't mean to care I felt my life was ending She was my saviour there  
  
I meant to say I'm sorry I meant to say I cared Now my life is ending My real saviour isn't here  
  
Save me from pain Save me from sorrow Save me from here Heal me tomorrow  
  
I've been there once I've been there twice Death is my gift But what is the price? 


	17. 17

"So a binge fest?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"You sure you wanna wallow already?"  
  
"I'm so for the wallowing."  
  
"Okay... I'll bring chips."  
  
"Alright. See you at seven."  
  
Buffy had already planned for all of Spikes things to be gone by the next morning, but for some reason, she was overcome with emotions, and called to have the truck cancelled. While looking through his things, she'd found his duster in the very back of her closet, and laid it on her bed. She didn't know what she was going to do with it, just that she knew she wasn't going to throw it away. Yes, she was going to keep it. For the memories. It was this coat that she- she couldn't bring herself to think about it. She shoved every thought of Spike to the back of her mind.  
  
"Mommy?" Buffy looked up at her bedroom doorway. It was empty. She turned to look behind her, but no one was there. She forgot about the small voice she'd thought she'd heard. She was probably hallucinating. "Mommy?" This time the voice seemed urgent, and she recognised it.  
  
"William? Where are you honey?"  
  
"I don't know. Where's Daddy?"  
  
Buffy sighed. She didn't know what to tell her son. Oh, Daddy's at Brittney's mom's house, why don't I go see her dad? "Honey, Daddy... Daddy did a very bad thing to Mommy, and now Mommy doesn't think she wants to Daddy to live here anymore."  
  
"What did he do, Mommy?" She followed the sound of his voice, and found him sitting in the back of her closet, wrapped in an old t-shirt of Spikes she'd overlooked.  
  
"He... Daddy did something that little boys like you should not know about."  
  
"What? What is it?"  
  
"Daddy has been seeing other women."  
  
"You see other women. Like Auntie Willow and Jesse."  
  
"Not like that, Honey. Daddy has been seeing other women, and telling them he loves them, and he told lies to Mommy, and broke some very important promises."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't know, Honey. But I hope he doesn't hurt his new girlfriend like he hurt me."  
  
"Are you getting a divorce?"  
  
"I don't know, Honey. Why?"  
  
"I don't want Daddy to go away!" William burst into tears, and held out his arms for his mother to pull him out of the closet. "You cryin' Mommy?"  
  
Buffy quickly wiped away the tears on her cheeks, and shook her head. Her voice betrayed her when she spoke. "Of course not, Baby."  
  
"Oh." William hugged his mother tighter. "When's Dad comin' back? Now?"  
  
Buffy shook her head again. "No, Honey."  
  
"Is Auntie Willow comin to pick me up, and take me to the park, again?"  
  
"Jess is gonna take you to the park. Me and Willow are going to have a little..." She didn't want to say party, it wasn't a party... "Get together."  
  
"Oh. Because you don't like Dad no more?"  
  
"No, because I don't wanna be sad anymore. I'm tired of being sad. I want to be happy."  
  
William brushed his mothers hair away, and watched her feet pound against the stairs as she descended them. "Daddy made you happy." His voice was suddenly sotto. "Don't you want me to have a daddy?"  
  
Buffy's chest heaved, and she almost started crying again. "Of course I do."  
  
"Is it me? Did I make Daddy go away?"  
  
"No." They'd reached the swinging door to the kitchen, and Buffy pushed past it. She set the small child on the island, and walked to the refrigerator. She absently opened it, looking for nothing in particular, substinance, just to keep her alive.  
  
Her full frame had gone from... Well, full, to frail, and tiny, and she hadn't eaten since... He left. She reached for an apple, but tore back. Spike's apple, she thought, and then remembered. It was her apple now. She grabbed the apple, and bit into it. It was mealy. Spike can have it, afterall, she thought, putting it back into the refrigerator, and remembered again. She threw the apple away.  
  
She tried again. Peach. My peach. I will eat the peach. I bought the peach, I'll eat the friggin peach. I don't want a peach. She closed the refrigerator. Opened the freezer. It contained frozen pizzas, old ice cream, rotting popsicles, and cigarettes.  
  
Cigarettes that belonged to Spike. She fingered them longingly, and began to cry. William turned from his spot on the island.  
  
"What is it, Mom?" William scooted towards her. "You miss him?" Buffy, given up, nodded.  
  
"Oh, God, Will, I miss him so bad. I miss him so bad. So, so, bad, Will." She'd began cryin again, heavily, and couldn't stop.  
  
"I'll make him come back."  
  
"Please?"  
  
Buffy had gone to sleep, and William had taken next to her, not sleeping, but sitting quietly next to her, and doing what his father had always called "helping her be quiet". The phone rang, and William picked up.  
  
"'Lo?" William paused, listening for the voice on the other end. His response was sheer delight, and he shrieked happily, "Daddy!" He listened carefully to what his father said. He didn't ask where Buffy was, but seemed to know she must have been sleeping, or out, which he doubted, Buffy wouldn't leave Will home alone. He explained to his son carefully what to do.  
  
"In the backyard, there are roses. I want you to take the scissors, be very careful, and cut twelve of them Do you know how to count to twelve?"  
  
"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve!"  
  
"Good. Cut twelve, and takes off all the petals, okay?"  
  
"The petals? Wont that mean they have no heads?"  
  
"Yep, but that's okay. Take off all the petals, and spread them all over Mum's bed. 'Kay?"  
  
"'Kay. Want me to cut three more and put them on her pillows?"  
  
"S'Great idea, Will, do it."  
  
"Okay. When are you comin' home?"  
  
"I'm not sure, Bit, soon as I can, if Mum will let me."  
  
"Mom say's you broke promises to her."  
  
Spike sounded suddenly sheepish. "I did, Will. But I'm very, very sorry. You'd make good to tell her I said I'm sorry."  
  
"Okay. Bye Daddy, I love you."  
  
"Love you too."  
  
William hung up the phone, and went into the backyard with the scissors, and emerged successful. He spread the petals all over the bed, and put roses on his mother's pillowcase. He went back downstairs to his mother, and shook her. "Mom?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Daddy called."  
  
Buffy looked up quickly. "Yeah? What'd he say?"  
  
"He said for me to tell you to go to your room, and lock yourself in."  
  
Buffy frowned at him, but went upstairs. She shut the door, but didn't lock it. "Spike?" She didn't look at the bed, but in the closets in search of her husband. "You in here?" No answer. She sat on the head of her bed, on a pillow, and the thorn of a rose cut deep into her leg. "Ouch!"  
  
The roses of love still have thorns. 


	18. 18

Crying. All she seemed to be doing was crying. And could she help it? No, of course not. Her tears were salty pools of pain, and her whole of existence was fading. Her persona as the slayer was slowly drifting farther and farther away, as her last days were numbered.  
  
The other would be with her soon. The other would be upon her. The other would kill her, before she could kill the other. Unless there was some way to change the prophecies. Even God knows there's no way to change the prophecies. Unless you're Buffy. The vampire slayer.  
  
"Minions... Oh, minions?"  
  
"Yes, master?"  
  
"Does the world revolve around me?"  
  
"Of course, master."  
  
"THEN WHY THE HELL ISN'T THE SLAYER DEAD?!"  
  
"There is one, master."  
  
"One what? One idiot minion who doesn't know one end of the crossbow from the other? Just get it through the heart, and kill her slowly. She'll die, I promise you. And I promise you death if she isn't gone by morning. The door locks at dawn. Go."  
  
"But, master, one protects her. One evil greater than all the others. One that is evil for the good. Master we do not understand it, but it is much more powerful than us." The minion lowered his voice. "And much more powerful than you."  
  
"What is it? The source? This isn't an episode of Charmed, buddy. Get out there are and kill the goddamned slayer."  
  
"Yes, master." And they all left the room, slowly, one by one, until just one was left. It sat on it's knees in front of Faith.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I worship you, beautiful one."  
  
"I know." Faith smiled, and patronizingly patted the vampire's head.  
  
"The evil one..."  
  
"You know who he is?"  
  
"I know him exceptionally well. I made him."  
  
"You? A siress?"  
  
"Yes, master." A slow, evil smile spread across her face. "His name is William." She looked up at Faith again, letting her hood slip of from around her face. The garbs she wore slightly resembled those of Glory's minions.  
  
"William, huh?"  
  
"He is dangerous."  
  
"Dangerous? I like him."  
  
"He has great connections with the slayer."  
  
"Get off your knees! It shames me to see my best minion on the ground like this. Do me a favor, Hon."  
  
"Anything."  
  
"Kill William."  
  
The woman laughed, and put a frail hand to her corset bound chest. "Of course, master." Still laughing, she turned her face to the sky, so it was no longer shadowed. The artificial light streaming from the lamps drowned her features in yellow. "I see the stars... Do you see the cherubs burning?"  
  
Faith let her gaze drift towards where her minions was so devotedly set. She smiled. "I do."  
  
The wounds healed quickly. Slayer strength had some... Well, most advantages. She lay in bed amidst flower petals. She could tell William had laid them out, because the were in neat rows. William had wandered in, and sat next to his mother on her bed.  
  
"You wanna call Daddy?" Buffy simply shrugged. "Can I call Daddy?"  
  
Buffy nodded, and indicated the phone next to her bed. William picked it up, and dialed quick numbers. "Daddy?" Pause. "Yeah, I did it." William listened to his father. "She's right here." William looked at his mother, with pleading eyes. "Please talk to Daddy." Buffy took the phone, and held it to her ear for several seconds, listening to Spike breathe. Gentle rise, gentle fall. He caught her.  
  
"Buffy?" He startled her. "Are you there?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I'm very sorry, Buffy-"  
  
"I know you're sorry."  
  
"Can I come back? Please, Buffy, I never meant to hurt you. Please?"  
  
Buffy sat, half numb, in her bed. She wanted him, she wanted him so bad. But she didn't want to be weak. Weak was a trait of the evil. And she wasn't evil. She was the slayer. "I want you to come back, Spike-"  
  
"Oh, Buffy-"  
  
"But I'm not sure if I can trust you."  
  
"Oh, Buffy, you can trust me. Please, please, I'll be so good. If you help me write it back up again-"  
  
"Spike-"  
  
"If you help me write it, then teacher won't be mad, she'll never know I dropped it."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Please, please, just let me come back. I need you. I need you. Please, please. I can't eat, I can't sleep-"  
  
"You can't breathe, you can't do anything."  
  
"Right. How'd you know?"  
  
Buffy smiled. "I feel the same without you."  
  
"Can I come home?"  
  
"Please, please come home."  
  
Spike jumped up from his spot at the hotel. At the same moment, a woman walked in. He recognised her, and for a moment, he cringed. "Drusilla?"  
  
"Yes, baby, I'm home. Don't you want to play? We can sing the same songs Mummy used to. Run, and catch-"  
  
"Drusilla, shut the bloody fuck up and leave."  
  
"Oh, no, William. I've got some business with you." Drusilla took a stake from inbetween her breast tightly pushed together by her black corset.  
  
"I'm afraid that's not going to do it."  
  
"Why? It worked for my master."  
  
"Your master was- wait! Who's your master."  
  
"Oh, your Buffy know's that one. The others have gone for her. She'll be gone by dawn."  
  
Spike frowned, and grabbed the stake from an unsuspecting Drusilla's hand. He threateningly held it near her heart. "Tell me where, who, and how, and maybe I'll spare your unlife."  
  
"Oh, no, I'd never betray the master. Not like you. You're just full of betrayal, aren't you? Can't stay faithful. Tisk, tisk, my boy."  
  
"Drusilla, you NEVER BLOODY SHUT UP, DO YOU?" Drusilla smiled, and laughed maniacally.  
  
"Do it. Stake me." Angered, Spike drove the stake into Drusilla's heart, and as she disinegrated, she screamed- "FAITH!"  
  
"Thanks for the info, Dru. I'll be on my way now. See you later." He bent, licked his finger, and put it to the dust. He studied it for a moment, then wiped it on the bedspread before leaving the room, with the key in the door.  
  
"Buffy?" Spike called upstairs to his wife. "You home?" The door was ajar, so he pushed it open further. He heard a struggle upstairs, and remembered Drusilla's warnings. He hurried towards his room.  
  
Inside, were several men, all in black coats, struggling to bind the Slayer to the bed with twine. She smiled at Spike, shushed him, and let them tie her up. "We've got you, now Slayer!"  
  
"What are you, like Joker, or something?"  
  
The men were troubled. Who was Joker? The wound the twine around her wrists tightly, and Buffy nodded to her husband, who stood silently behind them. They were staked. "Now I really need to vacuum."  
  
Spike smiled at his wife, and she let him take her in his arms. "I love you, Buffy."  
  
"I love you too." . . . Willow sat patiently in the doctors office with Jesse, and she squirmed in her seat.  
  
"Mom, stop fidgeting."  
  
"Leave me alone! You're not the one throwing up her dinner right after she eats it. And you're not the one who threw up on her husband after he proposed a second wedding. And you're not the one who threw up on her patient after she said everything bad was always happening to her. And you're not the one-"  
  
"You're not the one who has to listen to you complaining." Jesse smiled, then looked up. "See? There's the doctor."  
  
The doctor nodded at Willow, and gestured for her to come into the room. "Hello, Mrs. Harris. Hello Jesse."  
  
"Hey, Dr. Inglegram. Got any lollipops?"  
  
"Yeah, in that top drawer." Jesse hopped onto the counter and rummaged through it. Willow hopped on the bed, and stared up at the doctor.  
  
"Okay, Willow. What's going on?"  
  
Willow was actually a really good friend of Mark Inglegram. They dated in Med school, and he delivered Jesse. "I'm not sure. I... I've been throwing up a lot."  
  
"Sounds like a sign of pregnancy."  
  
"Jess here was a miracle. I doubt I'd be pregnant. again. And plus, it's not in the mornings, it's anytime. Especially after I eat."  
  
"Oh, okay. That sounds more like the stomach flu." Willow smiled.  
  
"Bingo."  
  
"Let me get a urine sample just in case. And, I'll take a look at... Jesse, could you leave the room?"  
  
Jesse smiled, and left.  
  
"Alright, Will. Just put your feet in the stirrups."  
  
"I thought we decided it was the flu?"  
  
"I wanna make sure. And you need your check-up anyways."  
  
"Oh... Okay... But..."  
  
"Don't worry, Will. It'll be fine."  
  
Willow hesitatingly smiled, and climbed on to the bed, putting her feet in the stirrups. . . . PART TWO  
  
Faith was alone. Alone, alone, alone. Her minions hadn't returned, and she suspected they were dead. "I need some better lackeys." Reference to Freshman, I believe There was a knock at the door. She stood, and crossed the room to the door. "Who is it?"  
  
"It's Drusilla."  
  
Faith smiled, and opened the door quickly. It wasn't Dru. It wasn't anyone. It was no one, it was no one other than... The other. And her significant other.  
  
"Hey Faith."  
  
"Hey, B. Thought we might get together sometime. I guess I just forgot to let you know I was in town. Oops."  
  
"Oh, that's okay, I thought I'd look you up." Faith smiled, and let them walk in.  
  
"So, I thought we could get together sometime. Y'know, get the family together, grab a coupla friends and their gay friends, and their gay friends, and their kids, and have a picnic."  
  
"I night take you up on that, Faith. But my kids aren't allowed out after dark. And I think you're only allowed out IN the dark. Have fun." Buffy grabbed Faith by the familiar leather jacket. Want, take, have. Spike flung the door open,. and Buffy threw her outside.  
  
She heard Faith scream, once, twice... And then she heard Faith bang on the door. Buffy checked her watch. It was too late past sunset to have killed her. She grabbed Spike's hand, and they escaped out a window. Faith would have to wait until morning to be let back in.  
  
Buffy's birthday was nearing, and everyone knew it. Willow got heran authentic pearl necklace, from her and Xander. Jesse insisted upon buying her own, then demanded money from Willow to get it. She got twenty bucks. "Mom, Aunt Buffy saved the world like twenty times, and all she gets is a twenty dollar present from her only niece?"  
  
Willow gave her thrity more dollars. "That's more like it, Mom." Jesse started out of her parents' room when Willow turned from her computer desk.  
  
"Jess?"  
  
Jesse turned back. "Don't you wanna know what happened at the doctors?"  
  
Jesse shrugged. "I guess."  
  
"I told your Daddy earlier."  
  
"What?!"  
  
Willow smiled.  
  
"You're not pregnant, are you?"  
  
Willow smiled larger.  
  
"GROSS!" . . . Jesse got Buffy a leather jacket. The jacket somewhat resembled Spike's duster, but shorter, and tailored for women. She thought it would be cute to match when patrolling. She smiled at the woman at the register, and watched as she scanned the price tag.  
  
"You're in luck," the woman said, still smiling. "This one's on sale. That'll be... 49.99."  
  
Jesse handed her the fifty, took the jacket, and walked out. "Forget the penny," she called out behind her. . . . Buffy, putting last bits of Spike's things back in her closet, smiling, began to hum Happy Birthday to herself. "Ah, the last thing..." Spike's duster. Before she hung it up, she tried it on, wrapping it around her shoulders, and letting it cozy her waist.  
  
She noticed that it didn't fit like it used to. Maybe it was worn. Maybe she was getting fatter. She hurried to the full length mirror that hung tastefully on the wall near the bed, and looked.  
  
Hips, bust, 'That's never gonna change,' stomach. It looked the same. Annoyed, she hung the duster up. From the corner of her eye, she could see Spike smiling at her. She was surprised. She had let him sleep in their bed, but only because she was lonely. When he touched her, she moved away, until eventually it was inevitable.  
  
She looked up at him, and smiled back. She let him come up behind her, and wrap his arms around her waist. He smelled familiarly of Old Spice, and booze. Not that he'd drinken lately. It was just the smell kind of stuck. He nuzzled her neck, and she smiled up at him, all forgotten. But she knew, as soon as he moved away, it would come rushing back.  
  
The phone rang. She pulled away from Spike, and picked up the reciever that stood on her bedside table. "Hello?"  
  
"All good things in time, slayer. You know it. That's why you died, right?" 


	19. 19

"Who is this?" No answer. "Hello? Who are you?"  
  
"You'll find out Saturday."  
  
"What happens Saturday?"  
  
"I kill you." Buffy turned to face Spike with an incredulous look on her face.  
  
"What is this?"  
  
"What?" Spike looked puzzled.  
  
"What kind of games are you playing with me?"  
  
Buffy set the reciever down on the table, and left the room. Spike picked up the phone. "Hello?"  
  
"Hey, lover."  
  
Spike hung up the reciever. "Buffy?" Spike hurried down the stairs. Buffy was sitting in the living room, flipping channels. His heart skipped a beat involuntarily when she flipped by Passions without a pause. "Buffy?"  
  
"Yeah?" She didn't seem to be mad at him. Maybe she didn't know, maybe she did, and this was her calm face.  
  
Spike looked around the room before answering. Where was William? "Are you mad at me?"  
  
"No, why?"  
  
"Just wondering... Where's William?"  
  
"In the kitchen, I guess. Probably hungry, or something. Go make him some grilled cheese."  
  
Spike, disappointed, hung his head, and walked into the kitchen. William was not at his normal spot at the kitchen table he sat when waiting for someone, anyone, to come and feed him. "William? William?" Buffy, hearing Spike still calling for him, walked into the kitchen.  
  
"Where is he?" Spike shrugged. They began to look. Willow returned home, and she helped too.  
  
Buffy, finally in despair, sat next to the phone, waiting for it to ring. A couple of hours later, it did, and she answered. "Hello?"  
  
"Hey, Slayer, where's your lover?"  
  
"Who the hell is this?"  
  
"It's your favorite slayer, B. I know where he is."  
  
"What? You know where my son is?"  
  
"I sure do. From seven he rises. From seven he dies again."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'll simplify it, B. I ate him, along with six others, and he his risen as an all powerful spirit. Now, if you kill seven innocents, he dies again. Got it, B?"  
  
"Yeah, I got it..." Buffy set the reciever down on the table again, and ran upstairs.  
  
Spike followed, and sat next to Buffy who had fallen onto the bed. "Buffy, what's the matter?"  
  
"I'm so tired. I'm so, so tired. And I'm done. I'm done with all of this. Faith is back, and she knows she has the power. She has it, and I'm done. With everything. It's over. No more slayer, no more Buffy, no more Mommy. I'm done, and there is nothing more I'm going to do, and I just want to go to sleep, and never wake up again."  
  
"What is the matter, Buffy? Who was on the phone?"  
  
"It was Faith. She said she killed William. And I'm just tired. Why won't they stay?"  
  
"Who? What? What wont stay?"  
  
"We keep making tham and they never stay. I just want to go away. Very far away where it wont hurt anymore. I just want to go where I was, and forget. I don't want to remember any of this."  
  
Spike took Buffy in his arms, and pulled her down so that she lay in his lap, and let her sob. A soon as she had fallen asleep, it didn't take very long, he laid her back on the bed. He left her a note, and went to find Faith. From seven he rose, and from seven he shall die again. It was only seven. And he knew exactly where to find them. No one would miss them. Seven would die. 


	20. 20

Buffy had gone to sleep, and it had been several hours, and she still hadn't woken up. It was one of the best sleep's she'd ever had. Spike had gone out, leaving her a note, and Willow had kept watch over the house with a gentle spell she and Jesse had thought of. Then she sent Jesse upstairs to watch Buffy. She jumped up when Buffy finally stirred. "Mom? Aunt Buffy woke up..."  
  
"Where's Spike?"  
  
"Uhm, he went to... To get something... There's a note downstairs."  
  
"What's it say?"  
  
"He went top find Faith and get the seven. Whatever that's supposed to mean."  
  
Buffy eyes widened. "He went to kill.. The... Dammit."  
  
"Kill? Spike? Aunt Buffy, I doubt Uncle Spike would kill-"  
  
"They took his son, Jesse. It's the second one. A slayer has been proven to live not as long as this. I was twenty. Twenty. I'm not alive now. I'm an... I'm a... They made me up. I was rotting. Rotting, and they brought me back. I climbed my way out of my grave. I was dead when my birthday passed. So, maybe I'm one year younger. But I was dead. Dead. What am I now?"  
  
"You're the slayer. And Aunt Buffy, I don't want to be rude, but this isn't the slayer. This is a wimpering blob of something you aren't. So they took William? Laying here whining isn't going to get him back. Killing seven isn't going to get him back, and finding a Backstreet Boys lunchbox on e-bay isn't going to get him back. Nothing is going to bring him back, okay? Faith killed him, the evil spirit has risen, and you're the one who can save us all. Be the slayer, Buffy. Be the slayer, and get Faith. William may not be coming back, but you know who took him, and you can get revenge. I'm not sure where I heard this, but when you want it, take it, and have it. Want, take, have, Buffy. And once you have it, keep it, and never let it go. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. Now shut your wimpering mouth, and go kill Faith."  
  
Buffy sat a moment longer, and thought about what she hsd just been told. Then she rose, and went to the closet, opened an old trunk she'd gotten from her birthday, and took out a axe. She turned back to look at Jesse. She knew Jesse had been waiting for the following moment. "Let's go, Jesse."  
  
Jesse smiled, rose, and took a sword from the trunk. They both climbed out Buffy's window. 


	21. 21

"Is she still awake?" Willow paused, her face angled towards the top of   
the stairs, waiting for her daughters answer. There was none. "Jesse?"   
She cautiously made her way upstairs, slowly taking one step at a time.   
"Are you up here?" Buffy's room was empty, as well as hers, and the room   
she shared with Xander. Where was Xander? Panicking, she went to the   
phone at her desk, and dialed Xanders cell. "Xander?"  
  
"Hey Honey, Spike just came by here-"  
  
"Jesse's missing."  
  
"What?"  
  
"She's missing, and so is Buffy."  
  
"Spike told me Faith took William. What if she took Buffy and Jesse?"  
  
"What if Buffy took Jesse?"  
  
"That's ridiculous, Will. Why would Buffy want Jesse?"  
  
"Xander, she was called."  
  
"What?"  
  
"She was called."  
  
"No, Willow, not my daughter."  
  
"Yes, Xand. What if Buffy took her?"  
  
"Our family cannot have been called for a slayer, Willow. I sent in   
a very specific letter stating I did not want our family called-"  
  
"It doesn't matter, Xander. The calling isn't the Council's job, it's   
destiny's. Our daughter was called, and who better to train her than Buffy?"  
  
"She took her without our permission Willow. Where did she go?"  
  
"I don't know, where was Spike headed?"  
  
"Hospital. Why?"  
  
"Wherever he goes, Buffy's gonna stop him. He's getting the seven." Willow hung   
up, leaving Xander on the other line "whatting".  
  
  
  
  
After several decapitations, a stop at Dawns for some swords, and a kiss for   
sixteen year old Josh, to whom Buffy had given her mothers old Jeep, they   
had finally arrived at the factory. Buffy kicked down the door. Faith stood   
amidst a crowd of hooded minions, and a cowering woman in the corner.   
The woman smiled when she saw Buffy.  
  
"Hey, B. I found this nice lady here who told me some interesting things about   
your former life."  
  
"Well. Isn't that nice. Where's my son?" Buffy handed Jesse her sword slowly as   
Faith turned to point a pile of bodies in the middle of the room. Jesse had   
been trained at the darkest hour of the night, and she was more prepared to   
take Faith than Buffy was herself.   
  
"He lays there. But he won't wake up." Buffy started the fight. She grabbed Faith's wrists,  
pulled her in close, and kissed her forehead before knocking her head into the brick wall   
near Jesse.  
  
"Take her," she yelled to Jesse, rushing to her son's body. His soft curls were matted   
with blood. Tears welling in her eyes, she looked at the woman in the corner. She looked   
familiar. And then it all came running back to her. "Glorificus."  
  
"Slayer. You had my key. You could have been the key. You or your Mom. So I took your son.   
I drank him."  
  
"Been reduced to vampire now?"  
  
"I think of it as upgrade. Now I won't even get gray hair."  
  
"Until I dust you."  
  
"You'll never du-" she forgot how much a stake through the heart hurt. Buffy turned her   
face back down to her sons body. He chest was still heaving. She let one tear roll down   
her cheek before taking him up. If he was still breathing the spirit hadn't risen yet.   
She turned to Faith, who's just been kicked down to the floor.  
  
"Is this an apocalyptic thing?"  
  
Faith smiled, and jumped back up, grabbing Jesse by the hair. "Of course, B."  
  
She held her sons body closer, and let his hair graze her cheek. "Breathe, Will...   
C'mon, be strong."  
  
The weakest voice she'd ever heard, but was so happy to hear said: "I wanna be   
strong like you and Daddy, Mommy. I'm happy you and Daddy are in love again."   
He began to cough, and she felt a warm pool of blood spilling on her shoulder.   
She pulled her son back, cradling him.  
  
"C'mon, Will, please, don't do this... Please."  
  
"I don't like in here, Mommy."  
  
Buffy stood, still holding her son tight, and walked to the window. She piled crates   
on top of one another, and jumped she landed on her back. "You okay, Will?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
She looked forlornly at her son. "I have to go help Jesse fight. Can you stay out here?"   
She really didn't want to leave him alone.  
  
He nodded slowly. She handed him her pager, showing him the red button on it. "This makes   
it beep really loud. If you need me, push it, okay? If it beeps, and it says 911-9, it's   
Auntie Willow. If it's 911-7, it's Daddy, if it's 911-3, it's Auntie Dawn. Push the button   
if it beeps, okay?"  
  
William nodded. Buffy stood, and walked back into the factory. Faith lay costed on the   
ground, Jesse standing before her. Jesse turned to look at her mentor. "You wanna stake her?"  
  
"I'd love to, Jess. She's someone who has ruined a lot of my life. But your kill   
should be someone important. Go on." She handed Jesse her stake.   
  
Dust. Then loud shrieking of a pager, and screams from a boy. "William."  
  
  
  
  
I smiled one day  
I might again soon  
I'll smile again  
Against the sweet moon  
  
Cause when it is full  
We know what is out  
The best of the demons  
My sweet song, no doubt  
  
I loved you  
I always will  
I need you  
To survive the kill  
  
I'm happy without you  
And happier with  
I'm glad you are lving  
And will not face death  
  
Because I've been there once  
I've been there twice  
Death is my gift  
But what is the price?  
  
  
By Heather Nguyen  
Still NOT OVER! ONE or TWO chapter's left! Review, or you never get the last chapter!!! Can  
I have at least 5? 6? They make me happy, and make me write faster. All the poetry is by me.   
You can borrow if it you want, just link me to the site. There will be a fee to those who do   
not ask permission. Like I have time to look at EVERY site just to check. Ignore me, I have   
issues. But, hey, review, and check out my parody, which should be near this story,   
The Moment I Saw You Die. 


	22. 22

Blah. Please review.*  
  
"It's just a fever, Spike, he'll be fine."  
  
"Are you sure love?" While Buffy nodded, Spike combed back her hair to look at her neck. It had two scars. Must have been that angry puppy of hers. He kissed it gently. "I love you Buffy."  
  
"I love you too." His arms wrapped around her waist, and she snuggled herself against him. She looked up at him. She was tiny, and her frame was petite. He was tall, and well built. He was strong, and was actually holding her up, and he knew it.  
  
"Are you still mad at me?"  
  
"You hurt me. And I forgave you. But I'll never forget."  
  
"I know." He smiled. "But I have a surprise for you and Will."  
  
"What?"  
  
"We're going to Europe."  
  
Buffy smiled, and broke away to face him. "Really?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Where you were born?"  
  
"No." Spike frowned. "Too painful. Maybe just me and you will go, and leave Will with a sitter."  
  
"No, no sitters."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You remember what happened to Jesse."  
  
"What, she got a little spanking for biting that wanker? He deserved it. My Will would kick some bloody fu-"  
  
"Spike."  
  
"Sorry, Luv."  
  
"I'm gonna check on Will. Fix him some apple juice while I'm upstairs."  
  
Spike obeyed.  
  
William lay on his bed, half awake. Buffy smiled at him. "Hey, Buddy. You feel okay?" She used her hand to brush his hair away and feel it forehead. She drew it away quickly and looked at her hand. It had a welt on it. She touched it gingerly, and winced. A burn. "Sweety, you're really burning up. Maybe we should go to the hospital." William shook his head.  
  
"No, Mommy."  
  
"Let's see what Daddy says, okay?"  
  
Spike appeared in the doorway. "Here's juice for the big bad!" William smiled. Buffy frowned. "What'sa matter, Will?"  
  
"I don't feel good. And Mommy says hospital."  
  
"Let Daddy feel your head." He pushed his hair back, and put his hand against Will's forehead. "Bloody hell!" He drew his hand back, and looked at it. A welt matching his wife's. "Hospital, son. Come, have your juice, then Mum will get your little afghan there and take you up to Sunny D General."  
  
Bufy grabbed his little blue afghan she'd found in the closet that her mother had locked so long ago. "I like my afghan."  
  
Buffy smiled. "I know, baby. Drink your juice up so we can go."  
  
He finished the drink, and held his arms out to his mother. "Let's go."  
  
Bufy scooped the child up, and followed Spike downstairs, grabbing the keys off the table on her way. She locked the door, and tossed the keys to Spike, who was leaning against the drivers side door. She buckled Will in, and slid into the backseat with ease. "You drive, I wanna stay back here with Will." Spike nodded, and started the car. The car she was so proud of.  
  
She saved the money after five years of standing around in the mall, behind the "Todays Woman" register. It was a newer version of the "geek machine". A 2024 Jeep Grand Cherokee, her pride and joy. Key word: her.  
  
She wrapped her shivering son in the blanket, and pulled him close to warm him against her chest. "I love you, Mom."  
  
"Aw, sweety, I love you too."  
  
"I really don't feel good." His chest was heaving now, his eyelids closing over his crystal blue eyes.  
  
"I know honey," she replied, uneasy. She put a steady hand to his chest, as if to stop his heavy breathing. "You okay?" William looked up at her, nodding slowly.  
  
Buffy made eye contact with her husband in the mirror. Faster, she mouthed to him. He nodded knowingly.  
  
  
  
"Don't jump on the bed."  
  
"Aw, Mom, c'mon, it's not like Dad's letting us stay here, anyways."  
  
"It doesn't matter. He can't stay mad at Buffy forever, Jess."  
  
"Just because he's mad doesn't mean we have to move, I mean, c'mon, Mom."  
  
"You mean what, Jess? I can not help it he's mad. That's your Dad. He's worried about us. He is worried about you." Jesse sat down on the bed, watching her mother take down the wraught iron borders that she put on the walls so long ago. She'd always loved those borders. "Besides," she continued, setting the metal down carefully, "we need a bigger place with the babie's coming."  
  
"'Ies? Two? More than one?"  
  
Willow smiled, nodding.  
  
"You guys are so gross. You're too old." Willow smiled at her daughter.  
  
"Have you ever talked to Aunt Anya?"  
  
Jesse nodded. "I like her. At least she know's about money and stuff. Dad's idea of fun with money is porn on pay-per-view, and yours is mental evaluation."  
  
"Don't get smart, Jess." Willow had been snappy lately. It really wasn't like her. Jesse reclined onto her mother's bed.  
  
"I want to stay, Mom."  
  
"Would you stay without me and your Dad if that's what it took?" Jesse frowned, staring at her mother, and reluctantly nodded. "Jesse."  
  
"Mom, it's my destiny. What would you give to know that if you didn't stay, everyone you ever loved could die? You've been with Buffy since forever. I know you know the feeling."  
  
Willow nodded. "But for awhile I wasn't in for the fight. I lost the love of my life, and I quit. I don't want to say I've been living a lie, but what is this? I love Xander- your Dad with all my heart, and we are in love, but I can't love him like I loved Tara."  
  
"Tara? I thought it was Tyler? Isn't Tara a girl's name?"  
  
Fear lay in Willow's eyes now. She wanted acceptance. She wanted to be loved, known and normal. She nodded, and sat next to Jesse, who shifted uncomfortably.  
  
"Mom, why didn't you tell me?"  
  
Willow shrugged, and hugged her daughter. "I didn't think you'd understand."  
  
"Understand? I have so many feelings I'm confused about. I'm ten, Mom, and I'm a slayer. It's my fate and now I can't stop it. I have to face what Buffy faced, and I can't help it."  
  
"I know, baby, I know."  
  
"I thought a slayer had to die first..."  
  
"Buffy did die. Her baby died, her love died, her family died, and now her spirit died. Soon her body will die, too."  
  
"Can't majick help? Mom, Aunt Buffy can't die, it's her destiny that she-"  
  
"She'll die. It's what's with you and destiny."  
  
"It's always been like that with Aunt Buffy. When something big in her life is coming, I'll feel it. Sometimes it's horrible, and sometimes it feels like a light in my stomach that is lifting me up, and it feels so good. And I think I remember a really long time ago... I can't even remember you or Dad being there... I felt so light and weightless and happy... Like I was a part of her, and she was happy. And then I felt like I was being torn from the feeling, ripped... And it was scary. And the light... It was like someone turned the light off. And I feel like they want to turn that light back on, and I'm not sure Buffy wants them to turn it on, she's not ready..."  
  
"The light? The feeling? She was in heaven, Jess, and we pulled her out."  
  
"We?"  
  
"Me and Tara..."  
  
"Where is she?"  
  
"They turned her light off."  
  
"Mom? Could we trade the lights? Tara's and Buffy's?"  
  
Willow shook her head. "She'd die..."  
  
"She's not dead."  
  
"Tara is dead, Jess."  
  
"Tara is alive, I know it. You can't live without Tara, I feel it, Mom. Look!" Jesse jumped up, and grabbed her mother wrist, pulled it towards her, and pulled the long sleeve up. Across her wrist was a scar. A scar shaped like a heart. "You told me about this, Mom. When you went evil. In the room you shared. This one, you told me. After she died, you called Sirius. He told you he couldn't bring her back, and you got mad, and tripped and fell. You landed on her spellbook, and got this." Jesse fingered the cut. "You told me she was a man. You were ashamed, and your spirit killed her."  
  
"No." Her objection was a whisper.  
  
"Yes, Mom, you can't deny it. She was your destiny, and this is mine. I'm staying here. In Sunnydale. With Buffy. I'm not gonna let my mentor be killed. I'm not gonna leave her alone in dark rooms, and I'm not scared of the big bad. But I'm scared of losing you. And Dad. But I'm not leaving. So leave me here, or stay."  
  
Willow didn't respond. "Over my dead body."  
  
"Daddy-"  
  
"No! Jess, we're going back to Florida."  
  
"No! I can't. We can't-"  
  
"Yes, Jess."  
  
"Daddy, no. He'll get me."  
  
"No one is getting you Jess."  
  
"Who'll get you?" Willow stroked her daughters hair gently.  
  
"The man, he'll get me, and he'll have me, and I'll keep having the nightmares, and it hurt, and I don't want to hurt anymore."  
  
"No one is hurting you."  
  
  
  
"Dr. Befferspon says you have to drink this medicine."  
  
"Aw, Mom..."  
  
"Aw Mom later, now, drink you medicine."  
  
"Better do what the lady says, she'll put up a big fight."  
  
"Okay..." William reluctantly drank the syrup.  
  
  
  
"Oh, God, Xander..."  
  
"Daddy!" Jesse's eyes stung with hot tears, and they trickled down her cheeks.  
  
Willow rushed to his lifeless body, holding his head close to her chest.  
  
"Call him, call Sirius."  
  
"I can't..."  
  
"Do it! Do it before I do!"  
  
"Sirius... Sirius..." Her voice was weak.  
  
"Do something..."  
  
"I am! D'Hoffryn!"  
  
"No, Mom!"  
  
"D'Hoffryn! D'HOFFRYN!"  
  
"I'm here, what?"  
  
"I'll do your vengeance bidding, just... Just bring him back..."  
  
"Let me turn you first..."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"No, Mom!"  
  
  
  
Don't hate me. And don't get me wrong, I love Xand and Will. But it's almost over.... I need 35 reviews to give you the next chapter. The LAST chapter. I have 24... That's eleven.... PLEASE! I can't stand not updating when I have the chapters written. 


	23. 23

"I've been awaiting this day. You have s strong spirit. It is very light, and free, and   
good." D'Hoffryn stared at Willow. "But you'll make a wonderful addition to our recruits,   
and I need someone strong. I haven't had a good one since Anyanka."  
  
"I'll do it, just please..."  
  
"You can let him live, but we cannot let you be entangled with him; vengeance is a strong   
fold that no longer allows you to associate with any, except those wishing."  
  
Willow started to agree, but looked at Jesse. Her eyes were downcast, ashamed.  
  
"I'm the slayer, Mom."  
  
"D'Hoffryn, I--"  
  
The man roared with anger. "YES OR NO?!"  
  
"The babies, Mom."  
  
"D'Hoffryn-"  
  
"Mom!"  
  
"Ms. Rosenberg, answer before I--"  
  
"Kill you."  
  
The three looked up. Buffy stood before the three wearing Spike's duster. She let her gaze   
drift to Xander, and let out a gasp.   
  
"Ah, Ms. Summers. I hear you and your vampire-"  
  
"Former."  
  
"Former vampire had a lovers' tiff."  
  
"Yes, and we handled it without death."  
  
"Beg to differ. You killed his lover."  
  
"I did no such thing!"  
  
"Then you did not kill Faith?"  
  
Buffy faltered. "You can't kill the undead." She charged forward, stepping over her friends   
body, and taking the demon by the head. Angrily, she threw him down, and kicked him. And   
when he stood, she broke his neck.  
  
"His only chance."  
  
"No, Willow. We can fix it. Your will be done."  
  
"My will..."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"It is my will that Xander be alive, and not remember where he was. Or that he's mad at   
Buffy."  
  
Willow watched the body, but it didn't stir. Exasperated, she began to rise, when the phone   
rang. "Hello?"  
  
"Willow, this is Giles. There is a prophecy..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"A new slayer has been activated. But for her to continue living, the current slayer must   
die."  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"Yes, for Jesse."  
  
"I don't understand."  
  
"We have to let Buffy know." Giles was getting old. He could barely talk without wheezing.  
  
"I'll get her on the phone."  
  
  
  
"So I have to kill myself?"  
  
"Buffy-"  
  
  
  
Spike sat alone. Waiting for his wife to return. And William for his mother.  
  
"Spike? Ready to come home?"  
  
"Mommy!"  
  
  
  
"Buffy, please, we could get Faith."  
  
"There is not enough time."  
  
"We'll make time, Buffy. What about William?"  
  
  
  
William didn't understand, but from what his mother said, she was going somewhere far away,   
and she'd be awhile coming back. A vacation! She'd bring him and Daddy, and their beachball,   
and they'd spend some time at the beach in L.A. with Mom's friend Angel. They'd see the   
museums, the shops, and lots of beach.  
  
  
  
"Is Mom there?"  
  
"The truth, Dawnie? It's like... It's like everyone there is a star, and no matter what   
you've done, all the other stars want to be with you. And there was one special star...   
The brightest one, and it always felt good to be around, and it just gave me a really good   
feeling; Mom would always give me that feeling."  
  
"I love you, Buffy."  
  
"I love you, too Dawnie. Be strong."  
  
"I wish I could." Dawn let hot tears fall down her cheeks.  
  
  
  
"It's a vacation, right Mommy?"  
  
"No, Baby. It's like Mommy is going... Mommy is going away, and even though she wants to come  
and see you, and Daddy, and Jess, and Dawnie, and Will, she has to do this, and she need's to   
this, for her."  
  
"Can't I come?" William was crying now, just like everyone else.  
  
"No, Baby, you can't come."  
  
  
  
"I love you, you know?"  
  
"I know."  
  
"I'll miss you."  
  
"I know."  
  
"You'll always be my best friend."  
  
"Oh, God, Buffy, please." Willow hugged her friend tight. "Don't go."  
  
  
  
"Aunt Buffy, you don't have to do this for me."  
  
"Yes, I do. You're the slayer now, you have reponsibilities. It may not seem like much, but   
I taught you everything I know. Use it, and you can be the strongest person you'll ever need,   
and you can be who you need to be. And now, you need to be strong for your Mom."  
  
"Bye, Aunt Buffy."  
  
"Bye."  
  
  
  
"I love you, Spike."  
  
"I love you too, Buffy, I need you."  
  
"No, you don't."  
  
"I do, please--"  
  
"Shh, don't make it any harder." Buffy gently kissed Spike, and whispered sweet nothings   
in his ear.  
  
  
  
She placed a kiss on each of their heads, and left them crying in the room together.   
Alone in the bedroom she shared with Spike, she wrote a poem. And she layed down in bed,   
and she never woke up.  
  
  
The sweet song of life  
Is now all but ended  
And the sweet lure of Death  
And taints have been sended  
  
So forgive me  
What I leave today  
I left it quickly  
I could not play  
  
I leave my heart   
To my friends and child  
My life and devotion to husband  
My items of no meaning, I leave to the wild  
  
I've been there once  
I've been there twice  
Death is my gift  
And my sacrifice  
  
  
  
  
Heather Nguyen 


	24. Epilogue

Epilogue In Spike's POV  
  
Dear Buffy,  
  
God, I miss you so much. I miss the smell of your hair, the sound of your voice, your smile, your face, your laugh, oh God, I miss you. Willow can't get out of bed, she can't let you go. Xander finally woke, and Willow wanted to bring you back, she begged. William overheard, and he began to beg too. I don't know what to do. I don't want to see you hurt like you hurt before. I don't want you to miss what He can give you, and I don't want you to miss Joyce.  
  
I wish we could be reunited at my time, but we all know I cannot be saved. And now my life seems a dismal hell. Jesse hasn't stopped crying, she's numb from shaking so hard with sobs. William has been having nightmares, and calling for you in the night, and it hurts so bad to hold his tiny hand, and tell him again you can't come to sit by his side. He misses you so bad that it hurts.  
  
Xander is still in a daze, but he misses you. When he's out of whatever he's in, I'm not sure how he'll deal because his family can't function. None of us have eaten in days, William refuses to. Why is it that when someone dies, everyone brings food? Now we have all this food, and no one can eat it. And I can't find Will's afghan. God, what is the matter with me, crying like a nancy boy?  
  
I wish I would have kissed you goodbye like a good boy, and not cried and begged. I wish I could have given you a second chance. I wish I wouldn't have been so stupid as to suggest Faith. I wish I wouldn't have been unfaithful. I wish I wouldn't have forgotten about Faith. I wish that you'd come back, and kiss me, and and let me feel you and you'd tell me it was alright. I wish you could have stayed. But I don't quite understand. You'd been there once, you'd been there twice, death was your gift, and your sacrifice. But what is mine?  
  
Is it you? Because I am not strong enough to give someone that I love as much as I loved you up for a new slayer. She could have been stronger, better, more beautiful, and I could love you better. I'll always love you better. I'm not sure where to address letters to heaven, and I'm not sure how much the postage is, so I'm just going to keep this in my coat pocket, okay, Love?  
  
I love you, miss you, and I need you, Buffy. Please, come back, I need you so much.  
  
Always Yours, William  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: That's it. It's over. Okay, I read it, it kind of really sucked. 11/7/02 Heather Nguyen 


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